Why Self care is not being selfish
In order to live a life filled with happiness and love, you have to love and care for yourself.
If you are someone who puts others first, you have to ensure that your batteries are charged and full otherwise you eventually burn out, become emotionally drained, resentful and hurt. There has to a flow between energy in and energy out.
In order to give your best to others, you have to give the best to yourself first.
Self care is about rejuvenation, restoring yourself in a physical or emotional way. It includes but also goes much deeper than the practical aspects of taking care of yourself by getting sufficient sleep, eating well, getting enough exercise, health appointments and personal care.
Your inner peace. that inner sense of satisfaction or success is your barometer to self care because feeling stressed means you’re not bouncing back comfortably from any challenges that life throws out.
Time for a Life Audit
When you’re feeling tired, stressed, depleted or dissatisfied in some way its time to do an audit and the easiest way I’ve found to do that is to tap into chakra basics. The chakra system has many layers of information. It is easily accessible and easily understood so it makes sense to use its wisdom to shape your life.
Energy flow or blockage shows up in our moods and behaviours. You can apply these symptoms to your own life situation and decide what changes you want to experience. Then you can use practical activities, and simple energy healing methods to rejuvenate yourself.
How Do You Rejuvenate Yourself
Firstly you need to restore your energy well. As busy women with work, families, responsibilities and commitments we tend to put ourselves low on the must do list. Overtime this results in emotional hurt not processed, putting other people’s preferences before our own, self doubt and much more.
This is where energy healing methods can help immensely to reconnect with yourself and your needs, release emotional stress and restore your sense of balance. This is also why I teach a simple diy energy method so that you can continue the process yourself.
How Do You Nourish Yourself
You nourish yourself by making time for yourself in your busy life. Sometimes this might be getting a health check, your nails done or zoning out with a massage. It could also be spending time on a hobby, going to a class or catching up with a friend, all without feeling guilty about the things you’re not getting done.
Here’s the thing we all react to life differently. What stresses or depletes you might energise someone else. So I’ve found it really beneficial to look at the 5 love languages to get a sense of how you both express love and feel loved.
Often when you put others first above yourself it can be a way of expressing love or protecting your self because of not feeling loved as children.
Show Yourself Some Self Love
These self care or self love activities should make you feel good, replenished in some way. It should not be draining, addictive or a chore.
Going to the gym can feel good but it can also be a chore, a must or should do. It can also become addictive as can pampering yourself with gifts.
So take a bit of time to really feel into how good and not just beneficial these ideas are to you.
Physical Touch
These are things that focus on your physical being or feel good on your body. They include physical activities, hiking, walking, swimming, stretching, skin care, spa days, soft blankets, massage.
Acts of Service
Actually doing or arranging things that make you feel good within yourself. These could be scheduling, cleaning, delegating, therapies, going out or acts of kindness
Receiving Gifts
Treating or investing in yourself in ways that make you happy could include day trips, craft supplies, comfy clothes, little gifts or indulgences, doing a course, learning a skill.
Quality Time
Spending time alone, doing things that you love, having space or quiet time. These include meditation, creative or hobby time, taking yourself on a date, relaxing bath or with a book.
Words of Affirmation
Giving yourself encouragement. This could be positive self talk, daily affirmations, journaling, mantras.
This all made sense when I dug into the self love languages for myself. For me time alone has always been important to me even though I enjoy elements of each of the others. Even as a child I preferred to play on my own or read books and hated my time being taken by other arrangements.
As an adult I’ve come to realise that my personal time is sacred. At workplaces my lunch break always included reading time which meant I sat off by myself. One particular manager tried to insist that I should be talking with the others at the gossip table instead. You can imagine how well that one went down – not!