Well… you’ve been reading about how a negative mindset will never give you a positive life. The book gives various ways of using positive affirmations to change your life.
You know you’re still thinking about things that have gone wrong in past jobs and worry about not having enough skills needed for your dream job.
So you pick out a few affirmations that the book suggested and start talking out loud trying them out.
I have faith in my abilities
I can handle anything that comes my way.
I trust myself.
Saying the words you feel a whole lot better. You feel hopeful of positive changes happening
But, then…
Life happens. A hose on your washing machine breaks and floods the laundry floor. You send an email to the wrong person. Your grocery bag splits and sends tomatoes and bread flying everywhere.
Your positive affirmations are no match for the overwhelming emotions that you’re feeling right now. The affirmations are like gentle breezes, compared with a violent storm. They just can’t fight back.
And of course, that inner voice starts on at you again. You’re so stupid, you can’t even do positive affirmations correctly. You didn’t say them properly. That’s why they didn’t work. You don’t deserve to have them work and on and on.
I hear you! I’ve experienced this as well.
Back in my 20’s I read alot of self development books. This was long before the internet so I would go to my local library and delve into the shelves for topics that intrigued me.
I remember coming across affirmations. The book said you had to pick an affirmation for what you want to manifest in your life then write it out at least 30 times each day for at least 2 weeks and tada it would be yours.
So I did it.
I had a foolscap notebook and wrote out a full page each morning of my affirmation. And guess what? It was depressing. I felt like I was back in school having to write out lines. I felt even more distanced from what I was wanting to achieve. I felt even more useless and down hearted.
Now the reasons why Positive Affirmations Don’t Work When You’re Stressed & What to Do Instead
So in this blog post, I’m going to share the main three reasons I discovered why affirmations don’t always work … and what to do to fix that!
Our goal here is to set you up with all the steps needed for positive affirmations to truly work….
Just saying something positive over and over again will not create lasting change in the brain or body because:
1: The affirmation is not believable
2: The affirmation has no action attached
3: The affirmation is not connected to the real problem
So let’s delve into each of these more fully!
1: The affirmation is not believable
The affirmation is a lie. Take the affirmation “I can handle anything that comes my way” from our example at the beginning.
When you say this affirmation, you’d like to think it’s possible but you’ve got this long list of times in the past when you couldn’t handle problems in your life. So when you say the affirmation your mind is screaming NO that’s not possible.
To be effective an affirmation has to be believable and not a long stretch from where you currently are. In this scenario a more effective affirmation might be “I am learning and getting better at handling my problems”
2: The affirmation has no action attached
The affirmation needs to come alive. When you attach visualisation or meditation to the affirmation you can see and feel yourself moving into the positive state.
We’ll stick to our original affirmation “I can handle anything that comes my way”. In a visualisation exercise you can experience a relevant scenario where you have been successful at sorting out a problem no matter how small and feel the satisfaction within yourself, knowing that you can do it.
Your brain can sometimes get mixed up between reality and imagination. When you create a mental image of yourself doing something – like doing well at an interview or sorting through the steps of cleaning up the mess of a broken washing machine hose and getting it fixed, you are activating parts of the same brain areas that actually experiencing these situations would.
So now when you say the affirmation “I can handle anything that comes my way” your mind agrees and say Yes I can do this.
(Pssssst…. You can 📌 pin this article for reference to your “Affirmations” or “Mindset is Everything” board!)
3: The affirmation is not connected to the real problem
Positive affirmations do not tackle the issue that has led to the negative mindset you’re trying to change. Beliefs are setup from early childhood. They are often connected to feeling of guilt, perfectionism or regret.
Some versions of guilt can be unnecessary – guilt about having more money than friends or not doing something for someone when you’ve already helped them in the past.
Perfectionism comes with a long list of “shoulds” and seeing mistakes as disasters. Regret keeps you stuck in the past blaming yourself or wishing you could change previous experiences.
Emotions and beliefs from past experiences are not always acknowledged and processed.
The right way to use positive affirmations to boost your mindset!
Positive affirmations really do help to:
- improve your mindset
- motivate you to achieve your goals
- promote positive self talk as you navigate life’s challenges
But first tackle the beliefs that led to that negativity. Use visualisation and simple steps to get positive energy flowing. Have a simple set to use as a personal mantra throughout the day to keep you focused.
So, there you have it! … the three reasons why positive affirmations need some help when you’re stressed
And, remember… If you’re ready to find your purpose & protect your energy at work – with ease, every day – I have something to help you get started