1. Listen to yourself
Listen to your conversations. Give your attention to the words and phrases you use. How do you sound. What emotions do your words evoke? What memories do you recall? What recurring patterns do you hear?
2. Identify repetitions
Identify what is repetitious in your speech.
Do you use the same phrases
- If only ……
- I always do that…
- This always happens ….
- I wish I could …..
Are the same situations occurring
- you feel you’re caught in a revolving door
- you regret your actions, wish you could respond differently
- no one ever takes notice
What recurring patterns do you recognise?

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3. Assess the way you talk
“When you talk you use spoken language to express your thoughts, ideas or feelings.” Collins Cobuild 2003
Where did those phrases come from?
- Are they what other people have told you
- How do those phrases make you feel
- Do you believe that’s the way it is
- Is this really what you want
What recurring patterns do you want to eliminate?
What changes do you want to make?
So tell me – do you have some easy ways of spotting those old stale patterns in yourself or those around you? Have you found strategies to deal with them? Please leave a comment and share….